This past month has been a bit of a whirlwind. I have gone through a lot of emotional ups and downs. My faith has been tested, finances were a bit shaky, I lost a friend, I questioned myself as to who I am and who I am suppose to be and so much more. Through it all, I was able to keep my sanity and pray. Some may say that they have been through worst and I just experienced the normal things of life, and that maybe true. But regardless of the trial, whether it be big or small, I still see it as a test. One thing that some tend to forget is that we will be tested in life with many trials, but it is how we handle the pressure that will determine our outcomes. This experience has given me the opportunity to get closer to God. To seek his guidance in all situations that came my way. One thing that I know is that it is so hard to talk to God when you are going through the toughest times in life. But it is during those times when you need Him the most. God allows some things to happen in our lives because he is trying to get our attention. We get so distracted by what's around us, that we never take the time to appreciate the little things. I believe that when we are hit with a trial, it's a humbling experience, at least it is for me anyway. This past month has given me the chance to ask God what is it that I am not doing, or what do I need to focus my attention to, because I knew that he was trying to get my attention. Once I realized what it was, I was able to view my circumstances differently. I get it now, some situations that appear hard to handle, are really quite simple. I just have to take a different approach to each situation and understand that God really would not put more on me than I can bear. It's funny how I heard that saying all of my life, but did not really understand it until now. God would not put more on me than I can bear! I used to think that this meant that God will not allow me to go through hard times, but I now understand that if I am going through something, then I must be able to bear it, otherwise God would not allow me to go through it. This is just my interpretation and so far my understanding has helped me look at each situation as just another stepping stone to get me where I am supposed to be.
I know we never do this or express ourselves publicly, but I wanted to make sure that my words captured my heart's words. I want you to know that you mean the world to me. You are exactly who I need in this cold and hateful world. You keep me balanced, you keep me mellow, with your cool and calming demeanor. You make me feel that everything will be alright in the world. You are the epitome of what love is. Despite our ups and downs, you love me. We basically grew up together and we are thick as thieves. When things are bad, they're bad but they could always be worse. We always seem to make it through. You are an awesome father to our sons. They admire you so much. You make them so proud and they're so happy to call you daddy! You are everything I prayed for. God reminded me of this. When I was at the point of giving up on us. God sat me down and listed everything I asked for in a husband and more and the list pointed out all of your attributes and characteristics. God had…
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